The Best Things In Life Aren't Free

Well hello there, payday.  I've been waiting for you since the last time you came around, 15 days ago.  Not to be confused with the candy bar, although that is my favorite one.  And, thanks to the kind of payday that involves cash money, I can now buy some of those yummy things.  SCORE. 

Every time payday comes around I always find myself in this same situation:  Surviving off of last year's Halloween candy.  And this has nothing to do with the economy, because I'm paid very well for my job.  Whenever I sit down and add up how much I make a month and subtract all of my bills, it makes me a little sick to see the number of money leftover compared to the itty bitty amount in my savings account.  According to that number I should have every last one of those things I acquired in the most intense round of M.A.S.H. ever played.  Or 'S.M.A.S.H.' as we liked to call it sometimes, since small town education makes you think 'chateau' starts with an 's'.  If you can't spell it, odds are you'll never have the kind of job that allows you to afford it.

One of my favorite things to do is to put myself on a budget.  Why is it my favorite thing?  Because it's just hilarious in theory.  I allow myself a certain amount of money per week that is usually gone in a Sunday afternoon trip to Target faster than fried chicken at the last Spears' family reunion.

Problem is, I feel no shame.  Probably could have went without the $75 worth of pet toys.  Whatevs.  Definitely don't need 95% of the Essie line.  Fuck it.  Don't worry, all of my bills are always paid on time or early.  I pay them before money is spent on anything else.  When the bank account runs dry, it just means I sit at home and hang out with the pets instead of having mimosas at on outside bar somewhere.  And let's be honest, that's my preference anyway.  Also, I've gotten loads better with my credit cards than I was once upon  a time.  I really only use them for emergencies, but I am still paying them off from a very unsupervised shopping visit a few years back.  I have definitely learned my lesson when it comes to those horrible things.  Well, yes and no.  Yes sometimes, and no when I need some sushi.

I temporarily had a second job to balance out my spending with a little extra making, but that job was on a Sunday night, and Sunday is Mexican or Chinese food night in our house, so, you know, I had to make some tough choices, and we finally found that perfect Chinese food place that knew how to throw down on some crab rangoon.  See ya later, supplemental income. 

The whole point of this post is I figured if I told people about my need to budget myself and save more money, I would be forced to actually follow through.  Will it help? Who knows.  Odds are I'll  start lying to you guys and hiding my shopping bags, and distracting you all with cute pictures of the kids, because, frankly none of you can tell me what to do. All I know is I have one day to save up for this Justin Timberlake concert that I have every intention of turning into an auction, but I also need to buy new earrings to go with the dress I'm wearing, so you see my predicament.

A penny saved is a penny earned, and put them all together and they'll eventually buy you that lamp from Target that you already bought online, two years ago.