Friday, August 2, 2013

No, Seriously J.Timb, Your Ass Is Mine

Ok, if you don't know by now what awesome awesome thing I get to do in two weeks then you have a whole lot in common with my best friend Sheila Shine who frequently admits she doesn't listen to a word I say.

Eeeeeek!!! It feels like just yesterday that countdown was in the triple digits, and now, in just two of what I'm sure will be the longest weeks of my life, I'll be driving 226 miles into the loving, open arms of JT South Florida for what will easily be one of the top three weekends of my life, forever and ever, amen.

And even though my two best friends can longer take that wonderful drive with me, I did recruit one pretty awesome ladybug to play road trip games with.

And you best believe we're catching us the ex boy bander of all boy banders.  We're going to need a few things though.

If for some insane reason, the Tennessee Kid doesn't just hop into the Rogue and head back up to Jamlando with us, he'll need some convincing.  I find nets to be very convincing when you're trying to take somebody against their will, especially if the net is big enough and the tranquilizer has started to kick in.

If you know everything about Justin, like I do, you know that he likes to participate in the above activity.  I don't exactly have a drug dealer on speed dial or anything, but I do know an undercover cop in Miami who probably has some access to a decent amount of confiscated Mary Jane.  I'll give her a ring, break roughly 80 laws, and then I guess I'm a drug dealer?  I don't know.  I'm just pretty sure I could get him to follow me home with the right amount of pot.

And if all else fails, I'll lie and tell him I kidnapped his mom.  Since I don't do a very good job at actually executing plans or being sneaky, I won't actually be able to kidnap Momma Timberlake, but as long as he thinks mom needs some help, I'm sure he gladly give up his freedom for her freedom.  He obviously likes this lady a lot.  We all remember that episode of Punk'd, right?  You must really love your mom to cry on national television to her.

Don't cry, little buddy, we'll be united soon.

Seriously, I haven't been this excited since I went to the Circus to watch B. Spears.  And if you know me, THAT'S EXCITED.  Beyond excited.  Excited times one million.  Jess sent me a lovely picture to express our pee-in-your-pants excitement.

Pretty much.

We're going to catch you boy, don't worry.  Or worry.  You should probably worry.  Oh, and you might want to tell Beyonce to stay back stage if she plans on being in Miami.  If we find her she's coming home with us too.

Hide yo' kids, hid yo' husband, Jessica Biel.

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