Friday, January 16, 2015

Know When To Fold 'Em

In case any of you are keeping track, I have a whopping 16 days left until I'm supposed to run a marathon. As I mentioned before, training took quite a hit after the holidays and I more or less (definitely more, big time) never recovered.  I've been doing everything but training the last month.  I mean, I've been running but nothing that will lead up to a successful 26.2 miles.  First of all, I recently gave into peer pressure and started watching 'Downton Abbey.'

Yes, I know, I'm late to the party.  Four years late, but when you think the premise of a show is basically people cleaning a big house in the early 1900s, you don't really jump at the chance to binge watch your way through it.  Big mistake.  I am currently convinced there is no better show on television.  It's hard to get off the couch and run 15+ miles when Maggie Smith is yelling at people.

You know what also makes running difficult? Puppy snuggles. 

We've made leaps and bounds in the whole letting me sleep more than ten minutes, but now when I wake up she likes to do this cute thing where she yawns and sticks her tongue out as far as she can and then pretends to snuggle into my shoulder, but then bites my hair, and then I yell at her and immediately feel bad for doing so, so we just lay in the bed and snuggle until I'm certain she's forgiven me for yelling. It usually takes up two hours.  

Also, I like to sit at home and stare at my hand. 

That is probably the most time consuming of all of my activities that interferes with my running. I've tried running and staring at my ring, but again, I'm not exactly a walk and chew gum at the same time kind of girl, so that would just result in my first trip to the emergency room as a fiancĂ©e. (Sorry) I would like to give you a time frame of when the bragging about being engaged will stop, but I'm assuming that will line up with a wedding date, which hasn't been set yet, so as of now, I am permanently insufferable.  I'm ok with it, you can be too. 

Anyways, the point of this is, I will not be running 26.2 miles in 16 days, and basically I have no good reason.  All of this was to distract you with puppies and shiny things.  Usually works ON me, thought it would work FOR me this time.  Seriously though, sometimes, you just have to know your limits, and for now my limit is 13.1 miles. The nice thing about a marathon is they'll typically let you back out and run a half marathon that same day instead. I keep telling myself this probably happens a lot.  The lesson learned here is: Marathons cannot be run immediately following the holidays.  Well, at least not by somebody who likes to drown herself in eggnog and pie. Oh well. I still get a medal and a picture, and that's all that really matters. Hey, at least this way I'll get to keep all my toenails.

Enjoy your Friday, kids.  

Friday, January 9, 2015

Wedding Underwear

You know what's fun?: Planning a wedding, training for a marathon, and having a new puppy.

You know what's really close to ruining my life?: Planning a wedding, training for a marathon, and having a new puppy. 

I always told myself that when my boyfriend and I got engaged, we would run down to the courthouse and call it a day. I was always more concerned with buying a house and saving for our future than spending that money on a wedding. And then I got engaged. Trust me when I say, anybody who says they're not interested in having a wedding will definitely think twice once they have a ring on their finger. The split second before he proposed I decided I wanted a wedding. Now that everything has settled down after the holidays and wedding planning has begun, I have decided to either throw myself off a bridge or just stay engaged forever. 

Shoot. Me. 

I will never again scoff when I read an article about a celebrity's $5,000,000 wedding. That shit adds up. Quick. I set a budget, started contacting vendors, added everything up, and then drank wine until the crying turned to laughing. So, I pushed the wedding back a year, and then bought myself something online and felt 75 times better. For now, I shall keep the wedding on Pinterest, where it's free.

P.S. The thing I purchased online was a pair of underwear with 'Mrs' blinged on them.  Somebody told me once you purchase your wedding underwear everything else will just fall into place.  Or was it dress? Whatever.


You know what makes me cry more than wedding planning? Marathon training. I was on a roll before the holidays. Running 30 to 40 miles a week, and feeling great. I hit December 6th, busted out the OUC Half Marathon, and then everything fell apart.

The boyfriend decided to give me whatever plague he had the very next day, and I spent the next week barely able to breathe after walking to the car, so running was a nightmare. And then the holidays showed up and I worked a million hours, and then ate and drank too much, and kept the running to a minimum. So now I'm 22 days away from the marathon and running about 25 miles a week, so I will most likely need one of you guys to swing by with a golf cart and pick me up around mile 15 to 16 on February 1st when the tears start falling and my feet forget how to be feet. Don't worry, I'm still loading up on the carbs like I'm running about 100 miles a week, so I'm covered there. 

Some of the hit to marathon training came from the most insane lack of sleep ever because puppies suck.

Turns out, setting out to run 15 miles on 3 hours of sleep will end in a nice nap in the grass after 2 miles. But, since that silly face up there is the world's cutest alarm clock that only allows for cat naps, running as well as cleaning, being social, and any and all things that are required of a functioning human being have taken a backseat. Like the last row of a bus backseat. But she's cute, and likes to lick my nose, so what can I do? No, but seriously, she's really killing the sleep schedule.  I spent an hour the other day looking through my email trying to find one that I received offering classes for puppies under 12 weeks old.  Turns out, that was just a very very hopeful dream, and no such email actually made its way into my inbox.  Here's hoping big sister starts taking the lead sometime soon and helps me whip Reese Witherspoon into shape.  

Hopefully napping.