Monday, July 1, 2013

When I grow up?

There is a 1,000,000% I am the world's worst grown up.  I can count on one hand how many things I can do by myself.  Usually, if I'm doing something 'grown up' like signing something or tying my shoes, my boyfriend, my Sheila, or my mom have to be on the phone with or right next to me.

I mean, seriously, does that look the face of a girl who should be paying taxes? No.  I'm always waiting for that 'Aha' moment when I would finally feel like an adult.  I'm closer to 30 than I am to 20.  I live with a boy.  I'm an aunt, for the love of cheese.  And still, I find it weird that people let me sign leases, watch their kids, and stay by myself for an entire weekend.

I thought maybe when I got into college and moved down to Orlando I would feel like an adult.  Nope.  Managed to screw up all of my housing paperwork, and next thing I knew I was on a lease for three separate apartments.  Yep.  Insert mommy.  A two minute phone call and everything was taken care of.  Thanks, ma.

I know.  I'll feel like one when I graduate college.  Yeah, right.  First of all, after my first two and half years at UCF, I was pretty much finished with my degree.  The next year and a half I took some criminal justice classes with my roomie for her minor.  Fast forward to the end of four years, I applied for graduation, freaked out, and withdrew my intent to graduate the very next day.  Those suckers couldn't force me into being a grown up.  No way.  Luckily, I was one year of classes shy of getting a second degree.  Big shout out to the Jenna for making me take those online classes with her.

 Yeah, you're the reason I'm not using two degrees instead of one.

Got it.  I'll switch phone companies and sign a new contract all by myself.  I mean, there are contracts, credit checks, all kinds of good grown up stuff.  You know what I did with that new phone?  Kept a tamagotchi alive for six weeks.  I also don't know how to count or read and spent the next four months paying two phone bills.  Ouch.

I always felt like '25' was the magic number.  It sounded old when I was younger, plus everybody always talks about their car insurance cost decreasing.  Mine?  Went up.  Yep, the one thing every 25 year old in the history of driving can count on, I screwed up.  To this day, I still have no idea how I managed to botch that one.

How about I buy a new car to use that insurance on?

I mean, that just looks like a big girl right there.  I handled all the paperwork stuff just fine, signed all of it, without reading it of course.  Once that bad boy was all mine, I had to get the few things out of the old car (may she rest in peace).  I had gotten my hopes up the day I went car shopping and had taken the time to clean my old car out.  Everything that was in the car was now sitting in my living room.  Everything except for one thing:

Yes, I keep a hula hoop in my car because, well, you never know.  So, after the entire, extremely crowded car dealership already witnessed me jump up and down and squeal like the little girl that I am, they now were able to watch me do the walk of shame all the way across the showroom, hula hoop in tow.  And just to make sure everybody saw me, I accidentally let go of my little buddy and had to chase her as she rolled all the way across the room.  They still gave me the car though, so whatever.

What's the point of this post?  Today, I did grown up stuff.  I'm in charge of handling any bill discrepancies in our household, since the boo works and I'm home during the day and have time to deal with that nonsense.  Usually I make a phone call, wait on hold for 45 minute, talk to somebody for 2 minutes and get absolutely nothing accomplished.  Somehow our electric or cable bill ends up higher when I step in.  So, then I have to bug the boyfriend at work.  He isn't the biggest fan of this, but, he usually can take care of whatever problem there is and somehow get us a free month of something.  It's impressive.  So, I was all set to disappoint him again today with my negotiating skills over our cable bill, but managed to get $55 off.  Suck it.  I put my big girl pants and got something for free.  And that's all being an adult really is, right?

Don't worry, I still think a pickle on my dog's nose is funny.

Over and out.

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