Anywho, so one night, the reason I'm not hanging out on match.com and I were
You guys have all seen it. You're probably used to it by now. But, you have to admit, the first time you saw that commercial you gave your television a funny look. I understand dating websites catered to sexual preference, or religious preference, but do you farmers really have to date only each other? Sure I like my lattes and Steve Maddens, but
First of all, you know those crazy dooms day preppers have their own dating website/gang/cult. Every time I watch that show I always think 'how does somebody get that crazy?'. More importantly, how does somebody that crazy find somebody equally as nutty to marry and get them agree to figure out how to turn dryer lint into breakfast? They definitely do need their own dating website if they aren't scared of the Internet. I don't want any of my poor friends accidentally landing one of those crazy faces. Well, one you guys can. If they're right, I'll need a basement to do my crossword puzzles in.
We also need a dating website based on phobias. Your girl is TERRIFIED of birds. Don't know how or why, but they give me mini panic attacks anytime I think I see one. You know what's amazing about my S.O.? He hates birds too. It's so nice knowing he won't one day blindside me by asking to put an aviary in the backyard, but I didn't know this when we first met. By the time I found out, I was already in love and in too deep if he did decide to turn my backyard into a Stephen King novel. If I would have met him on www.birdssuck.com or www.catsrulebirdsdrool.com I wouldn't have to even question this, I would just already know.
How about a dating website that hooks you up with people who are fans of the same sports team? I met David in a bar, fell in love before football season started, and now have to deal with this:
I spend all of each football season trying to free of him of those horrible horrible Florida State clothes. And not in a fun way. I wish I would have met him on something like www.caneslove.com or www.idontlikeshittyfootballteams.com. But now I'm stuck trying to show my support and actually wearing garnet and gold during certain games. If those websites were available to me, maybe I wouldn't be stuck selling my soul and wearing a Seminole head on my shirt sometimes. Love makes you do gross things.
I'd like to say there should be websites based on what types of animals you love too, but I think things would go from trying to find a soul mate to weird and illegal in about four seconds, depending on the speed of your Internet connection. Don't go there. If you want to meet somebody who loves dogs in the perfectly appropriate way you do, you should wear some short shorts to the dog park, but maybe stay off www.nutsfordogs.com. Forgive me for that. I think I'm funnier than I actually am