Dog Park High

If you've been around my Facebook, Instagram, or the Twitter Tatter you know that Joey and I are big time regulars at the dog park.  We usually show our faces there three to four times a week, when Florida's not competing with the sun on who can get the hottest.  We aren't there too much during the summer though.  I worry too much am a good mother and don't want Joey swimming in the water and getting attacked by amoebas, and it's absolutely impossible to keep her out of the lake.  The more you don't want her in there the more she's splashing around.

And I really try to avoid this happy place on the weekends, especially Sundays.  Every person in a one hundred mile radius makes an appearance on Sunday.  It's ridiculous.  I try to make the most of this place being way over capacity by people and dog watching.  And I noticed something today:  The dog park is a lot like high school.

The new kid sticks out like a sore thumb.  There were about 18 people in my graduating class, and most of us started out together in day-care, so if somebody new came in we could smell them coming up the dirt road.  The same thing happens at the dog park.  Those of us who have no life frequent the place recognize the others who do the same, and our pups start to get with familiar with each other.  Joey even has a best friend.  We don't know his name, but he likes to bark a lot and pushes her head under water.  Your first time here?  We can tell.  Don't worry, we'll be nice, but you can't sniff our butts just yet.

The dogs love a good fight.  My Joey would NEVER start a fight.  It has a lot less to do with how well behaved she is and a lot more to do with how big of a wuss she is.  A dog growling at her will send her straight into my lap.  Most of the dogs at the park I go to are well behaved and get along just fine, but just like any situation, enough different personalities in one place will turn sour occasionally.  As soon as the other dogs hear enough growling, barking, and yelping to convince them a real fight is underway, all the sticks, frisbees, and tennis balls are immediately dropped and they all form a circle around the two dogs going at it.  Likewise, nothing can get a bunch of tenth graders' attention like a good ole fight.  Preferably not during lunch though.  Don't interrupt a good time.

There are mean girls.  We can't get away from them, guys.  You'll meet them in kindergarten and they never go away.  The mean girls at the dog park I go to happen to be a gang of Huskies.  They come in the early morning and will not talk to you.  Maybe they haven't had their coffee yet.  I don't know.  I just know, Joey gets quite a few dirty looks and eye rolls thrown her way if she tries to sit next to them.  They even get up and move sometimes.  Bitches.

There are teachers.  There is always at least one person who thinks he or she is in charge (it's usually a she).  She likes to walk around and break up fights, yell at dogs for humping each other, and overall just try to ruin everybody's good time.  My dog is pretty well known for only responding to my voice, so it's always a good time to watch this person try to tell Joey to stop trying to stick her tongue down another dog's throat.  It's not even your dog, lady.  Do you even have a dog here?

There's that one weird kid.  And that would be my Joey.  She runs around licking trees, sitting on people's feet, and trying to force other dogs to play with her.  Joey has never met a dog she doesn't instantly fall head over heels in love with.  And the more they resist her the more she wants to play with them.  We all knew that kid.  They find the people that were the meanest to them and those were the ones they wanted approval from.  Trust me dude, you don't want to hang out with those kids.  They suck.  Fortunately, Joey doesn't give a shit who likes her.  She'll definitely spend the better part of her day trying to make you be her friend, but if you're too stupid to realize she's the coolest kid there, she'll just hang out by herself.

Too cool for school.