KIDS ARE GROSS.
Let me back up. I actually had a fantastic weekend. Saturday I went to a gender reveal party for my favorite baby momma.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the inside of the adorable cake is PINK! Good job, Brittney! Because I would have been way pissed when all the pink stuff I ordered online came in and I had to wear it myself. Who am I kidding? I'd give my left arm to be able to wear a onesie and some booties.
So, naturally, any type of baby centered party prompts mommas to discuss....things. And not your typical discussion about birth stuff and the early months of being a mom, but things I never even knew could happen. I'm 27! How did I not know some of this stuff?! And more importantly, why the hell do some of you guys do this more than once?! The Chinese weren't trying to control population with their one child policy, they were giving their women a way out of having to go through child birth more than once. Obama, THESE are the important issues. Mr President, please don't make me have four kids. Oh, but good luck on your impending bundle of joy, Britt. Kisses.
I spent the remainder of my Saturday eating take out from Hawkers (try it if you haven't yet) and thanking my little fur babies for not being real babies.
Cue happy place. Something just feels so right about being in the same room as her, or poolside, whichever. Hanging out with my Shannon, also means hanging out with my mini Shannon.
I KNOW. Cutest two year old of life. Yes those are Woody pajamas, and yes I googled adult sized ones as soon as I got home. We spent the afternoon splashing around the pool before your typical Florida summer thunder storm sent us packing. The rain did wait until much later than usual to start, so thanks for that Mother Nature. But before we headed indoors, we had to switch pools because a kid pooped in the pool. Yep, took a shit. I mean, I kind of can't blame him, why get out when you're having a good time? Plus, you just cleared the pool. It's all yours now, if you want it buddy. Just realize later in life, you have to ask for stuff, you can't just poop in it, depending on how rich or drunk you are.
So the lesson I learned this weekend? Kids will ruin your body as well as probably your carpet. Let your friends have all the kids. Not unless you want your kid shitting in a bowl when he wants some cereal.
Forever an aunt.