The Baddest Bitch

Confession:  I have a slightly obsessive personality.  Not like with people, so don't freak out, boyfriend.  But once I discover a new food, music artist, or actor, I can't get enough.  I'll gain 15 pounds in Vanilla Cupcake Goldfish, or listen to a new song until my ears start bleeding, or go out and watch all 75 low budget films an actor made before he made it big.

I can't remember the last time I said I wanted to be a 16 year old when I grew up, but I want to be this girl.

Lorde is the coolest thing to come out of New Zealand since everything that has ever come out of New Zealand.  Her EP is out of hand.  I seriously haven't stopped listening to it since I bought it well over a month ago.  And.  Those. Eyebrows.

So, her album is fantastic by itself, but then she goes and covers a Kanye song.  Kanye usually makes me want to die, but this cover, I can't even take it.  I don't even want to yell at her for talking about bitches and getting high at just 16 years old.  I don't know, maybe that's how they roll in New Z.  I do know one thing,  I didn't even have it in me to be that awesome when I was her age.  You know what I was doing at that age?  Making sandwiches and driving a Sentra.  I was also eating a lot of those sandwiches, because I was about 40 pounds heavier than I am now.

There's a Heavy T picture for you guys who didn't know me pre-Atkins.  Enjoy that picture, because images of a fluffier me are pretty rare.  Like a unicorn.  A chubby one.

Anywho, you know what else I was doing at sixteen?  ONLY MAKING SANDWICHES!  I lie.  I tried to write a book.  I wrote three chapters and then started using pages as napkins.  And none of those chapters were even 1/10 as fantastic as one of her songs.  The book was probably very Sweet Valley High-ish, because that's all I read until I was 27 16. 

The point of this post, is you would have liked to have known 16 year old Tina.  She was a bit of a tight ass, but very nice.  But don't invite her to any open mic nights, because she has the creativity and musical talent of 27 year old Tina.

And this bitch is awesome.  Hopefully you already know who she is, and I'm pretty just telling you what you already know:  I'm a loser and she's amazing.  If not, go buy all of her songs on iTunes right this second.

You ARE the queen bee, girl.