Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Show Me the Money

So, I've come up with some pretty fantastic ideas in my 26 (27 in three weeks) years.  Well, I think they're pretty fantastic, and if you ask my boyfriend in front of me, he'll probably think so too.  These ideas involve places, inventions, television shows, you name it, I've almost quit my 'day' job and tried to make millions.  Now these ideas aren't as solid as when Nestle had the stroke of genius that was Girl Scout Cookie Crunch Bars, but I think I could get some of them off the ground.

 These bad boys are back, by the way.  You are very very welcome.

Idea #1:  Cat Park

You know, like a dog park, but for cats.

Now, this would obviously need to be kept indoors, otherwise it would just be a park full of a bunch of humans who had just lost their cats.  I don't know if you've been around a cat person recently, but we're a little nutty, so this would basically just be a bunch of people strangling each other screaming, "What have you done with Mr. Wiggles?!".  Throw a bunch of boxes and some string in a room covered from wall to wall with carpet and you're set.  This isn't really necessary for older cats, but for the younger ones who like to climb up your bare leg and jump on your head while you're sleeping this would be heaven.  Think about it.

Idea #2:  A Shoe Store Where You Can Buy One Shoe

Genius, right?  Well, if you're a dog owner, you think it's genius.  I have roughly six shoes sitting in my closet missing their buddies, thanks to my middle child.

Sometimes the shoe happens to belong to a pair I'm in love with or wear on a regular basis and feel the need to replace.  So, now I have two left shoes and one right.  Stupid, right?  Insert a magical shoe store where you can walk in and buy just buy one shoe and problem solved.

I could just train my dog not to eat shoes, but since I've had zero luck with that, insert my third genius idea.

Idea #3:  Beyond Scared Straight for Pets

Animal Planet needs to team up with A&E right now and make this happen.


That Ceasar Millan is way too easy on those dogs.  I've tried being nice, it landed me in the emergency room.  The only problem with this is the cats might confuse this with the cat park, so I have a few kinks to work out.  But I expect I'll be signing a contract for this show and getting Joey some head shots any day now.

Well, I'm off to discuss plans for my doggy bakery, Joey could use a cupcake.

And I know a good lawyer, so if you guys try to steal these ideas, he'll probably tell his son to break up with the crazy girl herding cats into the spare bedroom.


  1. I will herd cats with you. I enjoy repetitive fruitless tasks, that's why I survived as a bartender for all those years.

    1. Heard that, sistah! I knew I could count on you for help. :)