The Night Life

So, as I'm sure you're aware, because I've mentioned roughly 18 times, I work overnight.  The job itself, I'm a huge fan of, the schedule took two and half years and some happy pills to get used to.  Like everything, besides cream cheese, my job has its pluses and minuses, and I was made extremely aware of this Tuesday night.

I, like many Americans, hold television in too high of a regard.  Since I'm too busy changing lives to watch television live, I rely heavily on the DVR and/or Hulu.  Tuesday night, this little slice of heaven likes to show his tooshie on FX.

Hi there.

Now, I'm entirely too invested in Sons of Anarchy to stop watching now, even though the first three episodes of this season were a bit of a let down, but when somebody texts you about some shit going down on a TV show and you have no way of watching it, well, you now know true panic, my friend.

And if you watch the show, you know that nobody's safe since everybody's favorite character was offed.  RIP.  Anyway, this got me thinking of the few other negatives of having a night job.

Sleeping during the day:

 You have absolutely no idea how difficult it is to sleep during the day until you absolutely have to.  Sure, a cat nap at high noon is no problem.  Eight solid hours when the sun's shining though?  Not happening.  Especially when all of your neighbors work from home.  ALL OF THEM.  So, it makes perfect sense to cut their lawns at 10:00 in the morning, two short hours after your army of pets have finally let you fall asleep.  Even better, one of those neighbors has a very strong love affair with his leaf blower and pressure washer.  Rake your leaves, dude, and who even has a pressure washer?  Sure, I could get sassy with them, but they give us beer, mow our lawn, and maybe I'll need that pressure washer one day.

People also like to sell door to door in the middle of the day, and if those sons of bitches see a car parked in front of a house, they are relentless with the knocking.  The only fun thing about that, is I like to, in turn, scare said unassuming salesman.  I usually swing the door open (hopefully with pants I remembered to put on) and yell something that makes no sense, because I've only been asleep for 45 minutes.

 
You miss everything:

Four days out of the week, I only get to see the boyfriend long enough to find out what he had for lunch.  We like to start with the important stuff about our days.  I live with the guy, and actually find myself missing him sometimes because I see him so infrequently during the work week.

I miss out on lots of Taco Tuesdays, Winedown Wednesdays, and numerous Friday night birthday celebrations.  Actually, I usually remember to grab a shrimp taco on the way to work on Tuesdays, the occasional Wednesday, and every other Thursday.  But if I requested off for every celebration during a night I work, I'd be out of vacay days by the end January.

You pack on the pounds:

I was immediately warned of the dangers of loading on the weight when you work overnight.  A lot of night jobs involve a lot of monitoring and sitting on your bum, which usually leads to boredom that can only be cured with candy.  Or Doritos.  And the occasional donut.  I was kind of the exception at the beginning.  You tell an ex queen of eating disorders that she might gain weight, she'll add at least two extra miles of running a day, and manage to lose weight while working over night.  Don't worry though, I gained it all back this past year.

But you know what?  Going to work at eight o'clock at night means one very important thing that trumps every negative thing in the world.  NO TRAFFIC.
 

That means I win.  Everything.  Also, because this is a scheduled post, so you suckers are at work and I'm still snoozing.

Don't forget to root for the Braves, they start their post season kicking ass tonight.

Winner Winner