Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Fool Me Once...

Happy April Fools' Day!  This tricky little holiday is definitely my least favorite..  First of all, I am very easily tricked, so I would prefer not to own up to all the times somebody (everybody) has gotten me on this bastard of a holiday, and second of all, I'm not very good at playing jokes on people, because I usually start crying or laughing two seconds in.  So, enjoy today all you jokesters, but leave me out of it, I don't need help feeling stupid.  I am a very easy target though, if you're looking. 

This holiday was much much easier to navigate in middle school.  You could go ahead and bet your life on not believing a single word out of anybody's mouth.  Your best friend says she's moving?  Not a chance.  P.E. cancelled for the day? You bet your chubby little ass you'll still be running laps.  Brother wants to clean your room for you?  LIES.  Now that I'm an 'adult', it's not that simple.  When a fellow adult gives me some information on this day I never know what to do. 

They would be silly to play a joke today, I mean, this person has a mortgage and a baby.  GROW UP.

Wait, would I be silly to believe them?  I mean, it is a day dedicated to fooling people.

No seriously, they're in their 30s.  This isn't a joke.

But, this is how they get people, right?

Ok, no, I would bet my Disney princess shirt and Harry Potter wand that this person is too mature for an April Fools' Day joke.

...DAMMIT! Every. Time!

I can't actually be this dumb.

But I am. 

It's part of my charm.  That's what I tell myself anyways. Whatever.

You know what April Fools' Day joke I like to play on myself?  That bag of Doritos, mashed potatoes, glass of wine, half a snickers, and half a pint of ice cream I had last night for dinner isn't currently throwing a party in my thighs.  Wait, April Fools' Day joke?  I meant normal eating habits.  I also just spelled 'habit' like 'rabbit', so the real joke is that some of you guys think I'm a literate person.  That might be the best April Fools' Day joke of them all.  I was able to let that joke carry me through five years and two degrees of college, so who is actually the fool?

Me.  It's still me.

Leave me alone today, guys.  I'm too easy of a target.  Challenge yourself, and go for somebody who doesn't regularly put her shoes on the wrong feet.

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