Friday, March 21, 2014

My Favorite Friday

Ok, every Friday is more or less the shit, but this Friday?  Today?  Is the best one.  Remember a few months back when I whined about my best friend leaving me?  I'll catch you up:  She's a horrible best friend and left me for the frozen tundra of Montana.  Nobody moves to Montana.  She clearly just needed a break from me, which I understand, I mean, I take a lot of work.  But she's been gone for six months.  SIX MONTHS.

Hate her
If I read our best friend agreement that we signed correctly, nobody was allowed to move out of state.  Montana is a clear violation so she owes me money and a hummingbird cake, which I can get from her today because SHE'S ON A PLANE TO FLORIDA RIGHT NOW!

I'm so excited I might die.  No, seriously.  The idea of us being in the same state finally gets me eighteen different kinds of giddy, all of which are almost too much for me to handle.

We haven't even been able to Skype or FaceTime, because she's literally been that much in the middle of nowhere that the internet connection isn't good enough for basic human contact.  Or she lied to me and seriously moved to Montana to take a vacation from me.  Whatever.  I hope you enjoyed your little break and are comfortable peeing in front of me, because I not leaving your side the whole time you're in town.  You'll be lucky if I let you go back.  Actually, you won't be lucky:  Florida >Montana, so you'll actually be lucky if I'm able to lock you in my closet and cause you to miss your flight back (also known as Plan A).

Also, anybody who is reading this who wants to see Sheila while she's in town, email me and I will try to fit you into her schedule for the ten days she is here, but she will most likely be busy hanging out with me.  I don't share.  Sorry.  Maybe while I'm sleeping or at work you can sneak in a lunch or something with her, but most likely not because I plan on taking her everywhere I go, and I prefer you not come along, you'll most likely just get in the way and I'll have to ask you to leave anyways.

Sheila Shine, I know you're just as excited as I am and couldn't help but get on an earlier flight so call me when you get here.  Oh! I wrote a song for you while you were gone.
It's Friday, kids, and I'm having the best one out of all of you.

Linking up with Whitney, and hopefully I don't pee my pants, because this level of excitement would make it perfectly acceptable.

Also, Sheila, you really aren't leaving Orlando again.  I got you on the no fly list.  I KNOW PEOPLE.


Since I'm actually toddler, I've managed to catch what is most likely pink eye (the least mature illness there is behind chicken pox) so if one of you guys could make sure Sheila gets a HAZMAT suit so she can still hang out with me, that would be great.  Also, send something with her to help me sleep, the shit is serious and I can't close my eyes long enough to get any sleep.


 ****Second Update****

It's Spring everywhere but Montana, and apparently snow storms don't make for good flying conditions, so nobody is on a plane yet, AND the boyfriend just came sick, so basically this day went from awesome to kill me real quick.

Debating on testing out if drinking an entire of wine can get rid pink eye.

Again, help.

 ***Third Update***

Sheila is actually the worst friend ever and was playing a joke on me.  Her flight isn't cancelled.  Thinking about giving her my pink eye when she gets here.

1 comment:

  1. haha omygosh the updates. Hope you girls are having fun and the pink eye isn't getting in the way :)