Sexiest Man Alive

So, if you've been living under a rock, or prefer the ladies, then you may not know that People has announced their Sexiest Man Alive.

Mercy.  Some people aren't too pleased with the choice, and to those people I say there are a few music videos and a handful of clips from American Horror Story you should go watch and then come talk to me when you're 'finished'.  (Sorry, mom.) 

Anywho, if People were to change their tune, it's obvious who their choice should have been:  The dude I get to live with.

If you don't agree then maybe I'm biased or maybe you're crazy.  Or I'm probably crazy.  Whatever. 

This post will be punishment for the past 3 1/2 years of complete and total noncooperation from him when it comes to taking pictures.  I hope this will teach you a lesson, honey.  

First of all, let's talk about his smile.  We're coming up on four years of being together and his smile still makes my tummy feel all silly.

 I mean, look at it.  You want to steal him from me, don't you?  Well you can't have him.  He's mine. 

Come on, I'm going to have to throw some good pictures of him in here so he doesn't kick me too hard when he gets home.  But really, that smile.

Second, I love a man who can accessorize, and he's the very best at it.

That face, plus a dino hat?  Dead.

Not only is he man enough to wear a 'poncho', he's crafty enough to make one himself.  My only complaint about this is that nobody thought to get a front shot.  Or maybe that's for the best, that may have been too sexy. 

Third, if you know me, you know I love animals almost as much as I love that kid. So, there is nothing more attractive to me than seeing him hanging out with a cute little furry baby.

  Wait a minute?  Those are cute pictures.  I'm getting side tracked.

There we go. 

You know what, I lied.  The only thing more attractive than a guy who loves animals as much as I do, is a guy who loves food as much as I do.

My only wish is that he thinks of me with the same fondness as he thinks of food. 

I guess I could look at the silver lining, the sillier his face looks, the better I look in the picture.  Depending on the lighting.  And what I'm wearing.  And the background.  Oh, and my face.

Since People didn't answer any of the letters I wrote to them voting for my boo to get that coveted title, I suppose Mr. Levine will have to do. 

STOP IT.

Yeah, go ahead and let that image send you right into the weekend.  YOU'RE WELCOME.

You should know that the above image was my second choice after an extremely amazing inappropriate picture that could possibly make some people uncomfortable.  Get at me if you want to see said picture.  And trust me, you want to.

Also, shake your ass a little bit for the weekend too, with Ms. Whitney.

 

 I have an open bar wedding to get to this weekend, do your best to get half as drunk as me.  Happy Friday!